M&M

11 Important Thoughts And Reminders For Your Everyday Life

Sat, 11 May 2013 12:36:23 -0400

11 Important Thoughts And Reminders For Your Everyday Life:

This isn’t to depress you or make you think about death and get sad and stuff, itâ’s just a reminder that we’ve hit the jackpot having the opportunity of life.

“You can’t remain at a job or in a career field that you despise. When your days off are spent dreading having to return to work or class, you’ve got to get out. It’s easy to think, I have bills to pay and this or that reason to stay miserable, and if that’s entirely true then you have to do what you can to live, but there are still ways of forming a hasty exit plan. Save up the funds to take an extended leave, apply at the place you actually want to work, take some type of progressive step toward a means of living that you find happiness in. That first step is always the hardest to take.”

Don't Go to Grad School

Sat, 11 May 2013 12:36:09 -0400

Don't Go to Grad School:

It’s pretty well established that non-science degrees are not necessary for a job. In fact, the degrees cost you too much money, require too long of a commitment, and do not teach you the real

Sigh.. My life is such a mess.

http://elitedaily.com/life/the-20-mistakes-you-dont-want-to-make-in-your-20s/

Wed, 08 May 2013 13:11:25 -0400

http://elitedaily.com/life/the-20-mistakes-you-dont-want-to-make-in-your-20s/:

Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you. Look to challenge yourself and build your own dream instead of building someone else’s. Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense now, create something with great value so you can cash out big. Always look to the future and never for immediate compensation. What are you going to do with those weekly wages anyways? Stop being so entitled and pretending like you deserve cash, prizes and vacations just yet. You will soon realize once you’ve made it that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey.

“A bad job is like a bitchy girlfriend that gives bad head. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know. Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs. The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable, 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice.”

HAHA….

How I Became a Hipster

Wed, 08 May 2013 13:10:56 -0400

How I Became a Hipster:

“Brooklyn” is now a byword for cool from Paris to Sweden to the Middle East, so the author, an avowed Manhattanite, set out to explore this artisan-loving borough.

Although, it makes me miss nyc- even more than the amount I do everyday- this is definitely an interesting read.

Why Being In Your 20s Is Awesome

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:15:36 -0400

Why Being In Your 20s Is Awesome:

“We’re not stuck. Even if it feels like we are, it’s not true. We’re the opposite of stuck. As twentysomethings, we’re constantly moving — apartments, relationship, cities, jobs. Anything is possible.”

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/15-guaranteed-things-that-will-happen-to-you-in-your-20s/

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 03:23:15 -0400

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/15-guaranteed-things-that-will-happen-to-you-in-your-20s/:

“You will do things that hurt you just because you’re not ready to feel good yet.”

Exactly.

likeafieldmouse: Tim Knowles - Tree Drawings (2006) Artist’s...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 13:05:19 -0400

likeafieldmouse:

Tim Knowles - Tree Drawings (2006)

Artist’s statement:

“A series of drawings produced using drawing implements attached to the tips of tree branches, the wind’s effects on the tree recorded on paper.

Like signatures each drawing reveals the different qualities and characteristics of each tree.”

Mind blowing and brilliant… how is it that I never think of things like these.

Incredibly inspiring…! He hit me when he mentioned that...

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:31:39 -0500

Incredibly inspiring…!

He hit me when he mentioned that people are not really living the moment because you’re too busy recording it.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/how-to-live-without-irony/?src=me&ref=general

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:49:08 -0500

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/how-to-live-without-irony/?src=me&ref=general:

“While we have gained some skill sets (multitasking, technological savvy), other skills have suffered: the art of conversation, the art of looking at people, the art of being seen, the art of being present. Our conduct is no longer governed by subtlety, finesse, grace and attention, all qualities more esteemed in earlier decades.”

“Observe a 4-year-old child going through her daily life. You will not find the slightest bit of irony in her behavior. She has not, so to speak, taken on the veil of irony. She likes what she likes and declares it without dissimulation. She is not particularly conscious of the scrutiny of others. She does not hide behind indirect language. The most pure nonironic models in life, however, are to be found in nature: animals and plants are exempt from irony, which exists only where the human dwells.”

Subtlety, finesse, grace, attention… the art of being present… something I always strive for.

http://www.newyorkerwithaseoul.blogspot.com

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:47:56 -0500

http://www.newyorkerwithaseoul.blogspot.com:

After a few weeks of thinking, I decided to transfer my main archive of “New Yorker with a Seoul” to Blogspot. Although I love Tumblr and I will continue to update my M&M blog, Blogspot has a few more advanced settings that I like. So come visit me there! YAY!

Holidays

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 11:01:04 -0500

Today is a “holiday” in Korea called pepero day. I put “holiday” in quotations because its not an official national holiday, but more like Valentines day- a Hallmark holiday, but instead its Lotte. You give and receive pocky sticks (pepero) on November 11th because the 1s in the date supposedly represent the pocky sticks.

I did want to eventually have a blog post on the topic of holidays. As many of my close friends know, I absolutely love and adore the end of each year- starting from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas and ending with New years- I just can’t have enough. If I was in the States, I’d be drinking peppermint mocha from Starbucks, strolling through the Union Square Holiday Mart, listening to the carolers sing, and Groupon-ing to buy a small Christmas tree for my apartment. But yet here I am with no signs of Christmas drawing near but rather watching people walk by with boxes, baskets, and shopping bags full of peperos in all different sizes, flavors, and shapes.

And to be completely truthful, I have both received and given peperos on multiple occasions but never have I known the reality of this day. I was reading this Korean article last night and it stated the reason why this holiday generates 55% of Lotte’s pepero revenue around this time of year annually is quite simple. Maybe I’m dumbing this down a bit but the truth is that Korean girls are very materialistic and superficial. They need extravagant and excessive things to “show off” to their friends and quite simply, this competitiveness is what drives the sales up like crazy. This article may be exaggerated to certain extents but even if wasn’t, I would have no trouble believing that this was the only reason why this “holiday” existed. It may be why Korean couples celebrate every “100 days” and the 14th of each month (including Valentine’s Day, White Day, Kiss Day, etc.)

What I have noticed in Korea is that people are TOO focused on the relationship between couples. Many people believe their ultimate goal in life is marriage, most people despise being single, and even the students I teach tell me they will cry if they have to spend Christmas without a girlfriend.

What I miss is the holiday spirit- the way families pick out a pumpkin, carry it home, and carve it out; the way people come together for a great big Thanksgiving feast; the way people CANNOT wait to put up Christmas decorations for the pleasure of decorating together; the way I can FEEL the extra excitement and the joy in the atmosphere around the holidays… I miss that.

Old People

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 04:36:59 -0400

A few weeks ago, one of my friend and I were sitting at a small cafe in Janghowon, just chatting away and getting some work done. Through the window, we watched a little old man slowly make his way across the sidewalk. Then my friend turns to me and asks “why do all elderly Korean people walk with their back hunched like that?” It was such an unexpected question that I didn’t know what to say. Why DID most of the old Korean people walk like that? Was it genetics? Was it only in the country side? So baffling…

I know that my most common image of Korean ”halmuni”s (grandmothers) is of an elderly woman with a very short super permed grey hair wearing silky flowery pants and very bright printed top, walking bent over a cane, getting on a bus. Adversely, the image I associate with stereotypical grandmas in the States are of eldery women coordinating outfits to match the different seasons and the holidays, sitting on a nice patio and sipping tea and playing bridge. And until my friend had asked me that question, I had never made the connection that these two images in my head were completely contradicting each other. And of course, I know that these images do not sum up every single elderly person in Korea and in the States, but these stereotypical images must be telling us, or at least me, something… right?

Whenever my parents bring up the topic of their retirement, I always told them that I would rather have them retire to the States. Of course there are other things tied to this topic- social pension, everyone’s individual retirement funds and such- but not accounting for all of the “real crap,” I guess I just want my parents to finally have the most typical American family lifestyle we never had, but always known. A house in the suburbs with a big backyard, a great Thanksgiving feast, and Christmas presents under an actual giant tree with a star on top. Cliche?

To me, the notion of retirement means that because you have worked hard all your life, you can finally have the time and the resources to enjoy what you have earned. And in the States, that is why the elderly flock to below the Sun Belt and why the elderly drive the fancy sports cars. But I’ve noticed in Korea, its very frowned upon when the retired are actually “resting.” There is this strange mindset that if someone is retired and not working, they should make “better” use of their time by either watching grandchildren or doing housework. I don’t really know what really constitutes as “better” but this kind of mindset is not something I would condone for my parents or for myself in the future. Don’t overdo anything but if you have the means and the opportunity, is it selfish to enjoy your own retirement after you’ve worked so hard your whole life? I mean after all, YOUR life comes first and you only do only live and retire once.

Ants and Aliens

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 03:18:00 -0400

I’ve always been fascinated by the movement of ants and its colonies. The way they march in a line to and from the labyrinth of underground tunnels and rooms to go get and bring back food ten times the size of their own body.

Then yesterday, as I was juggling through about a million people in Seoul trying to get to Yeoido around rush hour, waiting in an endless line JUST SO that I could walk up the stairs, being pulled about a thousand different ways, I realized we are EXACTLY like those ants. If there were aliens watching us from outer space, we’d be their ants. They’d be just as fascinated by us- the way we all go to work at the same time, the way we march into these underground tunnels, the way we go back and forth from the outside and the indoors. It’s a shivering thought but if these aliens did exist, we’d just be as vulnerable as those ants- they could just as easily crush our ant hills, trap us inside, and we’d be helpless. They could also just as easily walk down the street without a second thought and we’d get crushed to little pieces…

More than 10 million South Koreans in the city of Seoul. Now that I am here, I am just a one tiny part in this gigantic colony of ant people. I am scared.

Oh the thoughts that go through my head…… hahahaha :/

정

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 12:13:24 -0400

Today, the official day of Korean Thanksgiving, has been exactly five weeks since I have started my very first semester of teaching at FEU. If I may say so, the past five weeks have not been easy and there have been many ups and downs for me as a professor. Teaching in itself have been tough, not being specifically trained in the field of education, but I have been working pretty hard to get better as a professor and I am actually even beginning to like it a little. And sometimes dealing with these Korean students, who have grown up in a completely different environment than I have, can be mentally tiring and I just want to give up, but in the end what it all comes down to is how much, only in the past five weeks, I have grown fond of my students. I think I may even have a problem of being even a little emotionally attached to them as “people” and not just “students,” if that makes any sense.

In the Korean language, there is a word called “정 (jung).” Loosely translated into English, it means being sentimental or being affectionate and attached; however, the literal translation does not exist in the English language. I think I may have said this before but I do believe the Korean language can sometimes say so much more with so little words, something the English language just cannot do. And maybe this word exists only in the Korean language because Korea has been a monoculture for thousands of years and “we” as a country tend to be closer knit to one another through our ethnicity. But this in itself becomes a whole other discussion…

Anyway, this feeling of “정” is what I have been feeling towards these students lately, who I have only known for the past five weeks. I, of course, have different levels of sentiment for each of the four classes I teach. I mean- I absolutely adore and love one class, but I just want to completely give up on the other… However, the Koreans say “미운정도 정이라고…” loosely translating into saying that even bad sentiment is still sentiment, and even though I want to give up on this particular group of students, I still tear out my brain (?) with preparing lessons that will be the most beneficial for these students and the one that they can get the most out of. And this emotional attachment makes me weak-hearted sometimes as a person in charge and sometimes it hinders me from being strict with the students for their sake, but maybe it just comes as a part of the deal with being a teacher.

I think at the end of the semester I will be even more helplessly in “정” with my students and it’ll be hard for me to recover from the break up. I think I remember someone telling me that being a teacher is very difficult for this exact reason, but hopefully I’ll learn to be stronger. If one month can affect me this much, imagine how different I will be in a year…

Reality Check

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 06:18:23 -0400

To be completely honest, I know I have had a (very) biased attitude towards certain things that I have found unpleasant or annoying during my stay in Korea the past few months. It has come to suprise and shock me as well but I think it only comes with the fact that I am equally Korean as well as American and have seen and experienced both cultures fully. I am not claiming that my previous posts were all biased because I have formed my opinons purely based on my experiences and made educated decisions through what my studies have taught me- even though they may be somewhat limited having only lived through about 22 years of my life.

However, I do believe the last few months have been an adjustment period for me and even though I still think that I am adjusting in some ways, I think I had/have a tendency to focus on the negative during my first few months here. I think all of that excitement discovering new things in a new country doesn’t exist anymore for me in Korea. And I think a big part of it has to do my homesickness for nyc and my life there but also the fact that Korea is nothing new to me… However, Korea is my motherland and I do appreciate my culture and I do believe that I have been fortunate enough that being Korean made me into who I am today.

My dad always tells me that I have “Korean blood” and at the end of the day that I am fully Korean. And I do cheer for Korea in the World Cup, I am proud when a Korean company or a Korean celebrity brings Korea closer to countries around the world, and I firmly believe that Dokdo is a Korean territory no matter what. And even though I complain about some things that are difficult to live with in Korea, my dad claims that some millions of Koreans live and get by here with all of those difficulties and I should be able to do so just as well. Of course, I do understand it logically makes sense and I also do know that I have survived the past few months with minimal problems. But before I start to lose track of my new blog, I want to be able to express my thoughts, those difficulties, the differences I notice, as a Korean-AMERICAN on this blog.

And right now I may hate the crap out of having to take the bus/subway with my face on someones armpit or butt during 퇴근times and it drives me mad when I see rude ahjummas or sexual criminals who get by the Korean law by saying that they were drunk… but I think its time to face reality that I will be here for at least another year. Never in the beginning of the year 2012, did I EVER think that I would be here, right now, at this exact moment. Ever since I left nyc, it has been full throttle forward and I don’t think I ever stepped back and took a breath to take everything in and accept the situation. But better late than never, here I am doing just that… Stopping to take a breath.

People Watching

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 10:24:55 -0400

In New York, I used to sit aimlessly for hours at a time, on the park bench or on the steps of the Barney building, sipping a cup of coffee and just stare at the people walking by. I’ve gotten so used to people watching that my habit continues wherever I go- and I guess in Korea, it’s as I sit on the crowded subway or as I stand around waiting for the bus. I guess the only difference now is the cup of coffee in my hand is missing because take out coffee is ridiculously expensive here and the greenery that used to surround me at the park is now just the endlessness of cars, people and more people.

I know that I’ve written a post on this blog a while back, realizing about the things I am thankful for as I live in New York, as I was sitting and people watching through a window inside a Starbucks. I just never got bored of people watching in New York- I’ve seen a man limping around with a wooden chair tied to one of his feet; a man walking 20 dogs at once; people parading around in their underwear; lots of crazy homeless people and their very clever signs for money; street musicians, artists, and performers who always draw a crowd; and (of course) the people who try to sell me drugs. And yes, some of the people aren’t the “ideal” New Yorkers people picture in their heads, but this is the reality and the actual heart of the people who make New York the greatest city in the world. Full of diversity, intensity, energy, and the indescribable atmosphere… It always gave me inspiration and ironically, it kept me grounded.

And now that I’ve come to think about it, people watching was always fun for me not only for pure entertainment purposes but because it was the chance and the time I got to reflect upon myself and my thoughts, I guess, in comparison to others around me. So far, I’ve come to the realization that I am much more self-conscious of myself around others in Korea- something I never was in New York. Just as I didn’t care that there were crazy hobos yelling at everyone in the street corner, no one cared how I looked or what I was doing. But as I people watch in Korea, I have yet to witness anything or anyone crazy- something I guess is both good and bad. It’s good because you don’t have to deal with stepping around homeless people on the subway floor or running away from a madman. It’s bad because people in Korea lack any sort of diversity or uniqueness THAT much and they are THAT afraid to be different.

I believe that when you live your life- you are bound to run into some crazy… because lets face it, everyone is a little weird and a little crazy inside. But to live in a society where the crazy is seeing someone who hasn’t had plastic surgery on their face… well, you can see where the problem is. And these days, I miss the super crazy- I really do. I am, of course, learning new things but I guess I’m a little homesick, and it just so happens that my home is full of crazy. Yes, homesick.

Cost of Living

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 02:59:21 -0400

Yesterday my mom and I were just chatting away, like usual, lounging around at home while the rain poured outside. We eventually ended up on the topic of money, a topic that have started to arise more often after college. My current job as a professor here in Korea, is not a job that pays me a fortune. I am working to save up some money for grad school and life back in the States and I am fortunate enough to have parents who still help me out in certain ways with expenses.

I’ve experienced New York and everyone knows the living cost in New York is incredibly and unbelievably expensive. Believe me when I say I’ve paid my dues to feed myself and live in my studio apartment in New York. More than 1.5 grand monthly in utilities and rent alone, not to mention the money for groceries, takeout and deliveries… And of course, in certain ways the living cost of Korea is much cheaper. Subways and buses have phenomenal systems of payment, one can have a full meal for around 5-6 dollars, and shop street clothes for around 5-10 dollars.

But then there’s this completely different other side in Korea… It was when I was telling my mom that I finally understood why there are these crazy Korean ladies running around the shops in NYC and in Woodbury Outlet Mall, rolling around their carrier bags and buying everything in sight. From insight and through experience, I realized no average or middle class person in Korea can actually afford to buy clothes inside a legit store or a mall in Korea. The prices are way too ridiculous- and yet, somehow, everywhere I look, in the subways, the buses, the streets, everyone seems to be decked out in Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Chanel. They carry their Louis Vuittons and then walk in their Christian Louboutins into a coffee shop where they pay about 8-9 dollars for a cup of latte. But then in the end, they can’t even make their monthly rent.

I’ve noticed that for an average middle class Korean, the cost of living in Korea is based a lot on the superficial “needs” of the society. Korea may claim to be a first world, developed country, but when it all comes down to it, it is still a country in development, where only 10-20% of the population are actually rich and the rest only appear rich. You can’t really see it but the very distinct class system is there and when you live in Korea, you can feel it. Especially in Seoul, where everyone wants to look richer than they actually are. It’s an odd feeling that I haven’t really felt in New York and I can’t seem to fully wrap my head around why.

But I guess a big part of this relates to another topic I want to discuss later, so I will save it to discuss more for another time…

Respect

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 03:56:57 -0400

Ironically, in the course of my life, I was raised by my two traditional and in some ways, very conservative, Korean parents in a very free and independent American society. I believe I have learned and managed to use both customs appropriately when necessary. However, sometimes I don’t agree with certain customs and the subject of “respect” has come to my attention very many times in the past two months I have been working here in Korea.

The traditional Korean culture is highly based on the idea of age hierarchy. It is an idea that is still ever so present in this century and it derives the definition of “respect” in Korea. When you meet someone in Korea, one of the very first questions the other person would ask you is “how old are you and what year were you born?” This is partially a way to figure out who has to call whom “unni, oppa, nuna, or hyung” (different ways of calling older/younger brother/sister in Korean), which is something called “jokbo jungri” (a genealogical order). But mainly it is to have a common understanding of who deserves the most respect (usually the eldest in the group). Korean people assume it is an indisputable given to deserve the most respect when one is the eldest of a group. And they are also given that respect by most people even when it seems unjust.

However, from what I have experienced and learned in the States, respect is something not merely given to you because of your age, but rather it is something that is earned- by your personality, your work, your attitude, your philosophies and ideas, etc. It is something people strive to achieve and people work very hard to be respected.

I just have been frustrated and struggling with learning to deal with certain older adults in Korea who are unbelievably, for a lack of a better word, Korean. They do not treat me as an equal- talking ‘at’ me and not ‘to’ me, and they expect certain things to be catered only to their needs without any questions asked. Even things as trivial as giving my seat up on the bus or the subway for an “ahjumma” (older married lady) makes me mad because of the way these older Koreans assume it is their right. I would gladly give my seat up for any elderly person, anyone pregnant or disabled person without hesitation, but I think it should be something I volunteer to do and not be forced to do. I don’t expect a gift or anything for giving up my seat but a small thank you would be appreciated- something no Korean “ahjummas” have yet said to me.

With fall semester approaching next week, I am actually quite nervous to be a full-time professor teaching college students, some who are actually a quite a few years older than me. I actually grew up and believe the American way of respect; however, I do look Korean and the students have a tendency to come up and ask me about my age. But I’m not too worried, I will do my best to teach these students to my full potential and hopefully just as in the States, I can earn the respect.

Children

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 00:57:18 -0400

I know this won’t be my only post on the topic of children or education- but this is the very first.

A week ago, I started a 3-week summer camp program at this university for the elementary school children. 3 weeks is a very brief period of time and the couple days that have gone by are even shorter. But so far, I have been surprisingly delighted, deeply frustrated, many times irritated, but most of all very broken-hearted for these Korean elementary school children. Of course, I don’t want to stereotype the Korean kids into one group- they are all individually different; some standing out above others. Certain students are eager to learn English, some students are so giving and super sweet. And I know there are certain qualities I lack in myself as a teacher and I need to learn to be more patient and understanding.

However, there are so many things that sadden me about many of these kids- when asked to introduce themselves, they claim that their favorite and ONLY hobbies are watching TV and playing computer/video games; when asked what they want to learn from this camp, they reply with “nothing,”; when asked to write and create their own stories, all of their characters somehow end up viciously dead… They are constantly unmotivated, a little bit sadistic, and already a little, for the lack of a better word, too ‘worldly.’

But I think the thing that makes the most sad is the fact that these kids have ALREADY lost their sparkle of innocence. I believe children are supposed to have that unending curiosity for life and everything in it- constantly being excited, always embracing all things, and never afraid to love. They are children when they believe in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the monsters under their beds; they are children when they are fascinated by ants, when they wonder why the sky is blue, and when they are not afraid to speak their mind and the truth. And as an instructor, it is impossible to teach the kids how to be innocent again and that makes me sad.

I’m sure it is not ONLY in Korea, and I am sure that it is happening across the border in this upcoming generation, but personally I don’t want my future children to grow up this way. I want them to make blanket forts in their rooms, go cartwheeling across the green grass, read bedtime stories every night, and stay kids for as long as the mother earth would let them. I believe being a child is a privilege but being a child in a developed country, such as Korea and the States, is a blessing and a gift. The children don’t have to worry about where to get their next meal or how to scrape by everyday as they do in certain parts of the world. The world doesn’t force them to grow up and they can actually focus of being kids- being young, carefree and blissful. I know that you never really know what you had until you grow up, but I just wish there is a way that I can teach these children to learn to be thankful for what they have and who they are right now.

"New Yorker with a Seoul"

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 08:17:00 -0400

I’ve decided that during my stay here in Korea, I want to dedicate my M&M Tumblr blog to updating my thoughts, opinions, and observations on the differences I notice between the Korean and the American culture.

I guess I have been blessed to be a first generation Korean- American, who have had the fortunate opportunity to spend about each half of my life in Korea and in the States. But to be completely honest, I consider myself a true Chicagoan and New Yorker at heart- hence my title description, “A New Yorker with a Seoul.”

I’ve only been back in Korea for about two months now and I am already beginning to feel the difficulties of adjusting to life in a different country. Thankfully, it’s not my first time in Korea- but it has been a while since I’ve been here and it is already pretty stressful, to say the least. I think I’ve surprised myself quite a bit here already; my thoughts and beliefs have changed so much since the last time I was in Korea 4 years ago.

I guess this is also, in a way, for me to figure out where I stand on my personal beliefs and where I believe changes are necessary in both Korean and American cultures.

And here I start…